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Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Thoughts about the father of my children on Father's Day!

I met Winlove Abello Cudal when I was 16 years old and a gangling physical education student at the University of the Philippines. I met him in a very unusual way. There I was dressed in my gym suit with my long legs on display. I was about to enter the P.E. library when my attention was caught by an announcement on the bulletin board, "Track and Field athletes report for practice." I stopped to read and check out the list, asking myself, "whom do I know in this list". I checked the names from A to C, then came the name WINLOVE. I swooned over the name, "What a beautiful name. Is his face as nice as his name? Winlove, Winlove, I hope I can meet you, Winlove, what a beautiful name!" The gymnasium was noisy and I thought I was just speaking to myself. Then a man emerged from behind the bulletin board. He extended his right hand and said, "I am Winlove Cudal, how do you do?" I was so embarrassed. I did not shake his hand. Instead, I ran away as fast as I can, wishing the earth would open and swallow me up. The embarrassment was compounded by the fact that this was the man who payed for my bus fare a week ago. I didn't know him from Adam and there he was smiling and paying for the 10 cent fare to the Halili bus driver. I was wondering who the man was and now here he appears smiling ad introducing himself!
Fast forward, fifty five years later. Our marital journey brought forth eight bundles of joy. One, Lovejoy, died in infancy. Seven have their own career and families. I was trying to find words to best describe him as a person, then I found 1 Corinthians 13. Winlove is patient, generous and kind. Winlove is not rude. He is not boastful. He makes no record of wrongs. he has always been there for me with faith, hope and love. But the greatest of this is LOVE.

Remembering My Father On Father's Day

The celebration of Father’s Day always evoke fond memories about my father. He was the first Justice of the Peace in my hometown, San Carlos, Pangasinan, (Philippines). He held the position for thirty years. He was a firm disciplinarian but he was a caring and compassionate father. My father was a widower with six children when he married my mother, a public health nurse. He was then 45 years old while my mother was 21 years old. His second marriage produced eight children but three died in infancy. My father saw to it that the relationship between his two sets of children was seamless. He often reminded his children, “all of you have the same family name, you are all my children. You should love one another, help each other and take care of each other at all times. True enough, eleven children grew up harmoniously under one roof until they were able to pursue a career and have families of their own. He was able to bring up four lawyers, a medical doctor, a social worker, three teachers and two management experts.
When my father was weakened by tuberculosis (which I now realized was emphysema) , he confined himself to his room with only the Holy Bible as his reading material. He had the book at his side up to the day he died.
I spent many hours by his side, feeding him, massaging his back and serving as his human air conditioner. I continuously fanned him especially when it was warm and he had difficulty of breathing. In between those hours of discomfort, I read the Bible for him. His favorite books are the Book of Psalms, the Book of Proverbs and the Book of Ecclesiastes.
It was through my father that I have learned to appreciate and read the Holy Bible. I found the Book of Psalms as the source of songs of praise and prayers of lament and for vindication against enemies, and hymns celebrating God’s steadfast love. My father encouraged me to recite from memory, Psalm 23, “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.”
My father inculcated so many lessons about life from the Book of Proverbs, the most practical and down-to-earth book in the Bible. The insights I got served as my guide for daily living and relationships. One of the lessons I often put into practice: “Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act. Do not say to your neighbor, come back later; I’ll give it tomorrow when you now have it with you.” (Proverbs 5:27-28)
The Book of Ecclesiastes is a book of mixed messages. “The Teacher” tried to explore the meaning and purpose of life. He pursued pleasure, achievement and riches but ultimately he came to the conclusion that the purpose of life is to “Fear God and keep his commandments for this is the whole duty of man.”
I remember my father saying to me, “Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” I later found out his expectations of me as a woman, when I read Proverbs 31:10-31. I tried my best to meet his expectations but it seems I’ve fallen short. However, I am still trying even at this stage of my life.
Thank you, Papa. That was a long time ago, but I still can see you in my mind’s eye. Kind, loving and patient. It is my fervent desire that my four sons would be as good as their grandfather, as I wish all of them “Happy Father’s Day”.

Family Influences and Values

Aurora grew up in a very formal yet caring environment. Her parents - Lauro Palisoc Soriano and Andrea T. Guzman Soriano saw to it that their children are neat at all times,dressed appropriately, eat together as a family - breakfast and dinner, say or sing a prayer before meals, hold healthy conversation while eating, share positive experiences,and friends are always welcome to dine with the family. The children have to go to school on weekdays (no absences or truancy), work at home on Saturdays and go to church on Sundays. Although, responding to invitations and attending social gatherings was mandatory. "It is an honor to be invited. It is a social obligation to attend." One has to be appropriately dressed as a way of honoring your host. The Soriano family was not financially well-off, but there was an ambiance of formality and professionalism within the family and yet one can feel a common bond of love and respect towards each other.
Nurtured by a retired Justice of the Peace and a pro-active public health nurse, Aurora grew up in an atmosphere where helping others was a way of life. Social justice was a common household word. Health for all and democracy for all were not slogans but action words that prodded her parents to work and serve others even beyond retirement. The pursuit of college education was a MUST in the family. Hence, every member of the family graduated from college and all of them were in the "helping" profession.